Two year sin
So my little girl Maggie turned two years old and the play on words works nicely to base a post on what things have maybe gone wrong so far... Two year's in, two year sin... well, works nicely or is completely lame but there it is!
To be honest it's been such a whirlwind it's difficult to know what I could include but the biggest "sin" I have committed is trying to fit too much change into my life. With each of our two children we have moved house AND I have changed jobs...
Adjusting to a shiny new baby, new surroundings and a new daily work environment is an insane amount of exhausting lessons day after day. DON'T DO IT!!! DON'T DO IT!!! DON'T DO IT!!! Unless the job/house is perf.. just don't, unless it is completely a last resort, unavoidably end of the world if you don't kind of situation.
Both times the amount of change lead me to ill health. Bouts of depression, combined with extreme stress and anxiety. I suffered quite considerable weight gain, lack of focus at work and was somewhat absent as a friend and husband at times. I focused on the kids fairly well, but was not as patient and attentive as I would have hoped. I'm willing to work hard and sacrifice, but not if it has such a negative impact on me and my family. Even in the short-term it is simply not worth it.
The lifestyle switch that triggered this blog is almost a direct result from these decisions. We needed a childcare solution, I was unhappy at my job and I wanted to make my home life the priority. I want a successful career too, but there's plenty of time to pursue that once the children are off to school as far as I'm concerned. The change has made all the difference.
I think children adjust better than adults so being settled for a while will be important for my wife and I possibly even more than it will for the kids. So far it's definitely helping us feel a bit more relaxed and a lot more positive as parents. I think judging which changes to make and when is a lot more important than I ever figured it would be.
Other mistakes/misjudgements include (but are not limited to):
Thinking getting up in the middle of the night would be fine because I've been a bit of a night owl in the pasts - It isn't, it hurts, but you learn to live with it.
(NOTE: I apologise for any points that may come up repeatedly like this, but it's because they are true and require repeated emphasis to drive the point home)
A tap on the hand or bum works best in some situations... I often tickle my daughter by nibbling her belly or alike, it's firm enough that she just laughs if I give her a gentle tap to the hand to stop her touching something (for example). I've found distraction works far better.
Hoping that all baby products are born equal. Nah, they're very specifically different - some are shockingly ineffective and others are absolute life savers. I'll try to do a few informative reviews at some point.
May your mistakes make you wiser.